The Prayer of the Heart

Kenosis, or self-emptying love, is similar to the humility that comes with the expression of “thy will be done.” It’s an effort of releasing the ego, and the knot we’ve tied ourselves into because of it, and admitting, I have zero clue.

I do not know how to undo what I have done to myself, to my life. It serves to energetically wave the white flag and surrender. The effort and practice of self-emptying love is far from passive though. Surrender for most of us looks like an internal version of a professional wrestling match. Surrender via exhaustion.

It takes a very unique and uncelebrated strength to recognize when it’s time to let go, to release what we thought we knew or what we thought we believed about someone, or what we thought we had to do, and simply allow love to empty us again. Allow love to reveal to us that the only person we’re wrestling is ourselves, our own ego. God’s not even in the ring.

The prayer of the heart most likely originated with the Hesychasts, an ancient mystical tradition within Christianity. The Greek word hesychia means “stillness.” So, Hesychasm is the spiritual practice of keeping still within the heart. There seems to be a link or a red thread that connects Mary’s gospel and the practice of going inward which the prayer of the heart demands.

The gospel of Mary is the only metaphysical gospel, or it’s the only gospel that speaks directly about the metaphysical space referred to as “the heart.” This is of course not the physical organ within us but rather the metaphysical space at the core of who we are, the lodestar, the center point where all our prayers originate.

These ancient Christian contemplatives lived in the Egyptian deserts and as we know, the only surviving copies of the gospel of Mary were all found in Egypt along the Nile.

The prayer of the heart contains one very simple phrase: LORD JESUS CHRIST SON OF GOD, HAVE MERCY ON ME. The word mercy comes from the old Etruscan “merc” meaning “exchange.” This repetition takes place once all of our focus and attention has been drawn inward to the heart.

What does mercy mean here?

What exactly is being exchanged?

Imagine that you have a very strong aversion to someone. Imagine that this person has hurt you, whether it was intentional or not. They have done something or said something that hurt so much you keep returning to it all throughout the day. You keep finding yourself back in that moment when they hurt you. You have these imaginary conversations with them, telling them what you wished you had said in the moment. Or defending yourself and explaining just how wrong they are. Imagine that they really are wrong. They completely misunderstood you, misjudged you, and hurt you deeply in some way that has profoundly upset you.

Now imagine that the “harm” they have caused you actually weighs something or if spiritual energy could take material form, it does, and this form has value.

Imagine that it feels important to you that you hold onto that value. It’s yours, you have every right to it. And you return to it in your thoughts again and again. You were the one who had been hurt. You did nothing to actually deserve it. They are wrong. So, the value of that “harm” is rightfully yours.

But imagine that instead of holding onto it, and coveting it as yours, you exchange it. You hold up this harm, that is rightfully yours, and you say sincerely from within your heart, “Thy will be done and not my own,” or you repeat the prayer of the heart like the ancient Heyschasts did, and you say, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” Mercy meaning exchange the weight of this harm for the love of being freed from it.

Giving is receiving. This is the paradox that’s at the heart of the prayer of the heart. If I give away the deeply valued thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of the ego, in exchange for more love, I’m free.

Praying for mercy is not a passive effort. It is a fierce practice of losing everything we thought we knew, so we can be empty again, and the flow of the universe, which is love, can return.

SOUL-VOICE MEDITATION
WHO CAN I GIVE MERCY TO IN THIS MOMENT?

You know those almost otherworldly golden halos painted just above a saint’s head in spiritual masterpieces throughout art history? Well, imagine now that the halo extends from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet. A full body halo surrounds you.

Now imagine that the golden light only lets in what’s aligned for you right now in this moment, for this mediation. And imagine that the golden light draws out any thoughts or illusions that no longer serve you. So, you’re ready to listen.

Now let’s take our first intentional breath, and descend toward into the heart. Farther up is further in.

When we feel that stillness that knows itself completely, let’s take the second intentional breath, and know that this is god, this is the good. This is the soul of who we are.

Then let’s ask together this humble love inside us, “Who can I give mercy to in this moment?”

Keep repeating the question if you get derailed and find yourself having it out in your heart with the person you were meant to have mercy on. Or if you can’t hear, feel, or see anything, just keep repeating, who can I give mercy to in this moment? And remember, the answer might be you.

You might need to have mercy on some action you’ve been beating yourself up about for ages.

Just keep going, and remember the heavier the harm, the more valuable the exchange. The harder it is to release, the lighter you’ll feel when you allow love to free you.

(Be still within you for 3 to 5 minutes.)

Let’s begin to give gratitude. Whatever we seek inwardly, we find. Whatever we ask of the heart, is answered. Whether we have heard the answer or will live into it in divine timing.

Drenched in gratitude, let’s take the third intentional breath and open our eyes now, still anchored to that stillness of love within.

With only more love,
​M.